Monday Miscellany: A nebulous space of forever pending
Notes from September 30 - October 6
Friends, I was out of town all weekend and didn’t get home until yesterday evening, so welcome to a rare TUESDAY edition of Monday Miscellany!
It still feels pretty gloomy in my brain—I’m hurting for western NC friends, afraid for Florida as Hurricane Milton approaches, and generally panicking about the climate crisis. But I’m trying to remember that I can only do what I can do, and right now that’s donating to as many relief efforts as I can afford, keeping my carbon footprint as small as possible, VOTING, and taking one deep breath after another after another. And, to quiet my mind and calm my body, I’m reading.
Currently reading
This week I finished Colored Television by Danzy Senna for Gretagram book club. It’s about a biracial writer in LA who finally finishes the sophomore novel she’s been working on for nearly a decade, only to have her agent and editor reject it. She fudges some truths and ends up in the television industry, hoping to find success in “selling out,” but that… doesn’t ultimately go great either? I won’t spoil anything, but whew. Senna’s writing is really smart, and funny in an “oh god, oh yikes” kind of way; I enjoyed this book even though I was continually stressed out for the main character and her family.
Master Slave Husband Wife by Ilyon Woo was the August pick for The Stacks book club, and not at all the sort of book I would pick up on my own. History simply isn’t my jam; I flip open to a random page and see a bunch of names and dates and my eyes immediately glaze over. I’m out. However! Feeling the library copy I checked out two months ago glaring at me from my shelf and recognizing the resistance I was feeling toward picking it up, I had the genius idea of tracking down an audio copy instead. I ended up listening to a large portion of it through Spotify (you know about the 15 free hours of audiobook listening you get with premium plans, right?) and found it pretty compelling.
This is a story about a husband and wife, both enslaved, who escape by posing as a young white man (the wife, who is light-skinned) and his servant (the husband, whose skin is darker). They travel by ship and by train, from Georgia all the way up to Boston, then Canada. The whole time I was reading or listening, I was thinking, why in the world isn’t this story taught to kids in school? It’s truly incredible what this couple accomplished, escaping and outsmarting their former enslavers and the Fugitive Slave Act at every turn, even while living out in the open and speaking publicly about their experiences! If you’re interested in American history, definitely check this one out. And if you’re hesitant or intimidated like I was, give the audio a try.
Finally, I have to let everyone know that there is a new Oliver Burkeman book out TODAY! It’s called Meditations for Mortals and I was lucky enough to read an early copy and can confirm that it’s excellent. Burkeman’s previous book, Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, was quite literally life-changing for me—it’s about the fact that an average human lifespan is four thousand weeks long, and how keeping this number in mind can help you decide how you truly want to spend your limited time. Meditations for Mortals continues in a similar vein and builds on the idea of creating a meaningful and satisfying life, whatever that looks like for you specifically. It’s written in a month’s worth of small chapters that you can either read through daily, like a secular devotional that you soak up slowly and ponder a bit at a time, or gulp up in a few sittings like a regular degular book. I read it quickly this time, but I will absolutely be getting a physical copy for my shelf, and I imagine that I’ll try the one-chapter-per-day thing when I revisit it in the future.
Burkeman was targeting me at multiple different points in Meditations for Mortals, but here are just a few of the ideas and bits of advice that made me feel the most seen:
Just do something today—don’t worry about researching the hell out of that thing, or building a habit of that thing, or becoming the kind of person who does that thing. Just do the thing, and if you keep doing it over time, boom, you’ve built a habit.
We’re obsessed with finding freedom from limitation, when we should focus instead on finding freedom in limitation. You can do anything, as long as you’re willing to face the consequences (good or bad).
Don’t stress about an unbroken streak, when doing something “dailyish” is completely sufficient.
One way to defeat perfectionism is to set quantity goals. Don’t worry about doing something good, just do something.
Burkeman also talks about how lots of people are scared to commit to choices, lifestyles, jobs, etc. because they want to “keep their options open” and they’re worried about making their lives narrower and smaller. “But Emily,” he writes (he doesn’t really say my name in the book, I’m doing a bit) (and also this isn’t a real quote), “refusing to make a decision is, in itself, a decision—time doesn’t stop just because you can’t make up your mind. By stalling, you’re just choosing to spend your life in a nebulous space of forever pending. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?” To which I say no, Oliver, it isn’t. And please stop shouting, you’re embarrassing me in front of my friends. :(
Anyway, I highly recommend Meditations for Mortals! Please read it and then let’s talk about all the small ways we’re going to make our lives more satisfying and exciting.
A legally-required heads-up: if you purchase a book through the bookshop.org affiliate links in this post, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. ♥︎
Currently listening
Waxahatchee released a single last week called “Much Ado About Nothing” and if you know me, you know I love Katie Crutchfield—when she puts out new music, I am ON IT. This song sounds very much in line with her latest album, Tiger’s Blood, and as of my first few listens, I’m really liking it. It has down-tempo Americana vibes similar to “Right Back to It,” as well as deliciously introspective lyrics:
Oh no, I’m down and out, I’m tragically amiss Tell you I’m undefeated, I’m not worth following Oh no, I’ve lost my mind, I’ve lost my mind again Tell you I’m razor sharp, I’m terrifying
In other news, The Fray is back! With an EP called—can you believe this—The Fray is Back (2024)! You might not have thought about them much since How to Save a Life, which came out almost two decades ago (me neither). I was in college at Furman back then, and Ben Folds played a show at our campus arena my sophomore year with The Fray opening for him. This concert is especially cemented in my memory because at the time, I was deeply crushing on a cutie I’d met in callback auditions for an acappella group (nerd alert), and said cutie was there in the crowd, standing close enough that I could sneakily point him out to my roommate. Reader, ‘twas Jordan. I married that cutie. (The show was also memorable because Ben Folds broke a couple of piano strings, a completely wild thing to witness, but I digress.)
These six new songs feel familiar yet fresh, a brand of uplifting and cinematic pop rock that plays like a logical continuation of what came before. My current top track is “Not Now”—the chorus of “don’t let me down, don’t let me down, don’t let me down, don’t let me down, not now” just builds so satisfyingly. But really, if you’ve known and enjoyed The Fray’s music before, this whole EP is going to feel like putting on a beloved pair of perfectly worn-in jeans.
Finally, speaking of old faves, Linkin Park dropped another single from their upcoming album! It’s called “Heavy is the Crown” and Mike Shinoda raps on it and new lead singer Emily Armstrong screeeeams (“THIS IS WHAT YOU ASKED FOORRRRR!”) and it sounds like classic Linkin Park but updated and I love it. I’m very much looking forward to hearing the rest of the new record.
Haiku round-up
Monday, September 30
Scrambling to pivot when nature changes your plans This will be worth it
Tuesday, October 1
Oh, these many years You’ve held it all together Now, time for a change
Wednesday, October 2
With a companion, chores are done in a moment, work feels effortless
Thursday, October 3
Sun down, dark descends and I keep myself busy until you return
Friday, October 4
A weekend of peace to read, relax, and be still is just what I need
Saturday, October 5
I wake and sneak out, by myself, to the porch swing while crows greet the day
Sunday, October 6
Flames coaxed so slowly, from nothing to hearty blaze We huddle in close
Until next time
The world is scary. It’s hard not to feel powerless and small in the face of worsening natural disasters and unpredictable futures. And yet, we’re still here, together. We’re our best hope. Take a deep breath. Do something tiny to help someone else. Sit outside and watch the sky for a while. I love you.
See you next week, and in the meantime, have you met Larry?
—Emily
If you have any feedback, or want to tell me what you’re reading or listening to, I’d love to hear it. You’re always welcome to leave a comment or reply directly to this email.