Monday Miscellany: I AM BLESSED WITH BOUNTY
Notes from the week of July 8 - 14
[Radio announcer voice] Gooooood afternoon, folks! It’s another hot one out there!
But for real, hello from the pleasantly dim interior of my old house, where I am hiding from the harsh summer sun! It’s quiet and peaceful here, and there are snoozing cats, all of which I am grateful for, and I think I have finally introverted myself back to some sort of equilibrium after an eventful past few days. I hope you are staying cool and that your week is off to a good start so far.
Currently reading
McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern #25 is a collection I picked up at the end of June but had to set down for a while because of some pressing library due dates. At the time, I had also just gotten to a story that I realized was sixty pages long, and that kind of took the wind out of my sails. But this weekend, with said library books finished, turned in, and out of the way, I steeled myself and jumped back in to wrap up that one honker and the few stories that came after it.
Verdict: Eh!
These days, McSweeney’s collections are usually really diverse and representative across gender identity, race, ethnicity, and sexuality, and this one, in contrast, felt rather dude-heavy (seven of the ten stories were written by men, most of whom are white). Granted, the most recent issue is #74, so we’re looking at quite a time gap since the release of #25. But still—that qualm aside, there were several weirdly gruesome, violent, or visceral stories, and the one super long one I mentioned, and I just didn’t find as much to love here as I normally do.
I did, however, ADORE the horse art by Amy Jean Porter that appeared at the beginning of each story!
There were a few stories that I enjoyed and/or that stuck with me, and those deserve a shout-out:
“The Tower” by Steven Millhauser
“Love, the Frontier” by Emily Anderson
“No Empress Eyes” by Padgett Powell
One of my IRL book clubs met this week to talk about The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store by James McBride, but… I didn’t go! My plan had been to read it in the car during the epic McKay’s bookstore road trip I took with my friends on Tuesday (recap of this adventure coming soon), but between conversation, games, music, and everything else during the drive, and considering when we got home Wednesday, and work on Thursday, and exhaustion from travel, blah blah blah, I simply didn’t get it done in time for our discussion Thursday night. And I was too tired to drive anyway. So alas, I stayed home.
I did finish reading this weekend, though, and I enjoyed it! My expectations were so high based on all of the outrageously positive reviews I’d seen that I fear I was let down just a little, but that could’ve also been due to my own aforementioned state of mental depletion. Something about the many different characters and their intertwining lives and backgrounds was ever so slightly difficult for me to follow, or maybe I just mean that it slowed me down and took me out of the narrative to keep remembering who was who and how everyone was connected. But the story is lovely! It feels like one I would enjoy more and be better able to fully sink into on a re-read.
Have you read it? What did you think?
Finally, I figured out a little DRM-removal workaround¹ that allowed me to finish my library copy of Say What You Mean by Oren Jay Sofer. I briefly mentioned it last time, but this is a nonfiction work about mindful, nonviolent communication, and I learned a lot from it.
The central idea is that conversation is all about conveying needs and figuring out ways to meet them. Sofer writes that “conflict generally occurs at the level of our strategies—what we want,” and that “the more deeply we are able to identify our needs—why we want what we want (italics mine)—the less conflict there is.” As someone who deeply values understanding and being understood by others, I was very into Sofer’s ideas and strategies.
He talks a lot about emotions and how to manage them in order to more effectively communicate, and I found this extremely helpful too. Here are a few quotes I underlined:
“Developing emotional agility involves three capacities: identifying emotions, finding balance with our internal experience of them, and expressing them openly without blame or judgment.”
“Every time my attention goes outward to blame someone, I can pause and investigate: Is this person solely responsible for my reaction? What meaning am I making about this event? What do I need?”
“The more we take responsibility for our feelings, connecting them to our needs rather than to others’ actions, the easier it is for others to hear us.”
I’m often in my head (ha) dwelling on scenarios and replaying conversations (in this fashion), sometimes regretting what I said or did in the moment, when I should have taken time to think things through and calm myself down before responding or acting. If you’re this way too, or if you’d just like to get better at listening, empathizing, and expressing yourself in ways that minimize conflict, definitely give this book a try.
¹ I deleted it when I was done! Please don’t tell on me! Your girl is not out here promoting piracy, just to be clear!!
A legally-required heads-up: if you purchase a book through the bookshop.org affiliate links in this post, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. ♥︎
Currently listening
Spotify got one right! Metamorphosis Complete by Infinity Song (2024) showed up in the “new releases for you” section of my home page this week and from the first track I was like WHOA. I have no idea how to categorize this music. Melodic pop? But kind of jazzy? With some R&B elements? And an almost bossa nova type vibe in some of the songs?? I am falling short!
There is humor and levity with real wisdom underneath, like in “Hater’s Anthem”:
I love the way it feels to be a hater Something so sweet about thinking that I’m better Just to wake up every morning Lay in bed and somehow never ever rise to the occasion Or even hold up under pressure
And some real in-your-feelings, “oh shit, seen” lyrics, like in “Metamorphosis”:
What I’d give to give it all I’ve got What I’d do to be something I’m not Never blamed, to be so nonchalant Now I’m stuck on autopilot And sometimes I don’t like myself, can I be someone else?
Some stop-you-in-your-tracks moments of swelling dynamics and tight vocal harmonies, like in “Lotus” (starting around 2:40, “don’t set me free, don’t let me go”) and “I Want You Back” (the very beginning of the album, ten seconds in, “I want you back”)! An unsettling yet compelling use of sing-laughing that really builds on itself (“Comedy”)!
This album has moments that remind me of many different artists, from New Pornographers to Evanescence to Pentatonix to India.Arie to Amy Winehouse to Fleetwood Mac—speaking of which, it happens to contain a lovely cover of “Dreams.” Metamorphosis Complete is breezy, it’s harmonically complex, it’s truly different from anything I’ve heard before. Do recommend.
And another thing
New York Times has now released their “100 best books of the 21st century” list in its entirety. How many have you read? Which ones are you hoping to read? Are there books there that you disagree with, or others you would have added? I thought the inclusion of multiple books by the same author, which happens a few times, was an odd choice, especially considering how many incredible books have been published this century so far. Like y’all, share the love maybe? But what do I know?! Anyway, here are my results:
I added a nice little stack of books to my physical to-read shelf this week as well. On our McKay’s road trip I found used copies of How to Write an Autobiographical Novel by Alexander Chee (for 75¢!!) in Mebane and The Singer’s Gun by Emily St. John Mandel in Nashville.
Then we stopped at Malaprop’s in Asheville on Wednesday, where I bought Bittersweet by Susan Cain, Another Word for Love by Carvel Wallace, and James by Percival Everett. And then, a friend showed up at the bar on Saturday afternoon with a copy of The Chosen and the Beautiful by Nghi Vo, which she promptly handed to me and said I had to read. I AM BLESSED WITH BOUNTY.
Haiku round-up
This week I’ve been reminded of how important rest is. We started early on Tuesday, drove all day, and didn’t get to sleep until about 3am (again, full story of road trip is coming soon), and every day since then has felt like slowly catching back up to where I should be. It’s truly shocking how quickly my mental health and emotional stability plummet when I’m not well rested. Note to self: it’s not shameful to go to bed early. It’s luxurious! What a privilege!
Monday, July 8
An idea forms We make ourselves laugh and laugh for the hell of it
Tuesday, July 9
Huge crowds and big heat Miles of driving in between Lasting memories
Wednesday, July 10
Cool, pleasant morning Recovery and return our sole objectives
Thursday, July 11
Don’t be mean to me I haven’t had enough sleep And I just might cry
Friday, July 12
What is better than pizza and a nature show? Nothing, I tell you.
Saturday, July 13
Are you that same hawk, perched on your branch above the gently burbling creek?
Sunday, July 14
Make yourself a list Knock out a few household tasks That’s Sunday done right
Until next time
Whenever I’m feeling especially stressed or harried, when life seems extra non-stop (even if it’s fun chaos), I try to slow my mind down and focus on whatever moments of calm I can find in the midst. This week those included wandering around Jordan’s grandparents’ farmland in east Tennessee (the photo of the old house above), chatting with friends over beer and pizza in Asheville (just look at the sunlight filtering through those glasses), and deciding to stay home and take a bath Saturday night instead of going to a concert. The world keeps going and the dumpster fire keeps raging—I hope you’re able to find some perfect peaceful moments in your life this week despite it all.
See you next time, and until then, hit that handshake!
If you have any feedback, or want to tell me what you’re reading or listening to, I’d love to hear it. You’re always welcome to leave a comment or reply directly to this email.
And if you enjoyed this post, please pass it along to a friend. ♥︎