Gather ‘round, dearest friends and most esteemed readers, for I’ve collected a sampling of my finest opinions from the week, should you have the time and inclination to receive them! Among today’s offerings: a bit of good-natured hating on a wildly popular author and some love for an old favorite band’s new-to-me music, with a side of classic “listen to this song RIGHT NOW” bullying. Thank you, as always, for being here. ♥︎
Currently reading
Let me begin by saying that I never would have picked up anything by Colleen Hoover on my own volition. I don’t mean that in a snobby way, just… she blew up on TikTok a couple of years ago, and I heard a lot about That Whole Thing and was aware of what kind of books she was writing, and I know myself and my tastes, and if she’s your jam I am happy for you, but personally I was more than okay passing on all of it.
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But THEN, Traci Thomas had to go and pick It Ends With Us for The Stacks book club, and I’m committed to reading along with her selections this year, so I guess what I’m telling you is that I did, after all, read a Colleen Hoover book.
And it was… as predicted, not for me.
Despite its length of almost 400 pages, it was a quick read. I can see why folks would be into a novel like this: it tackles difficult subjects, like domestic violence and generational cycles of trauma, and big “this is not okay, but also I love him” feelings, in a fairly page-turny and easy-to-digest way.
But to me the writing around these intense topics felt immature and overly simplified, like I was reading an adult novel in a poorly-constructed YA costume. Interspersed with the present-day sections, for example, we get a few peeks into protagonist Lily’s teenage years via her old diary, which is comprised entirely of letters to Ellen DeGeneres. I guess it makes sense for 15-year-old Lily’s thoughts, which largely center on her father’s violence toward her mother and her own growing relationship with a “homeless boy” who is squatting in her backdoor neighbor’s abandoned house, to lack nuance considering her age, but being in present-day 24-year-old Lily’s head feels mostly the same.
Her love interest and eventual husband, Ryle, is kind, thoughtful, understanding, sexy, and genuine—unrealistically perfect, frankly—except in the moments when he SUDDENLY AND IMMEDIATELY loses his temper and becomes violent out of nowhere. Getting to know him felt like swinging uncontrollably from one extreme to the other, without any sort of in-between, and as a result he didn’t feel real to me at all. Does he not ever, I don’t know, get mildly annoyed, or say a snide comment, or even yell, without getting physically violent? Is there really no emotional or behavioral gray area with this dude?
I will say, I appreciated the book a little more after reading the author’s note, where Hoover reveals that she based it on her own complicated experiences with domestic violence. During his struggles with alcoholism when Hoover was a child, her dad would physically harm her mom, but he was otherwise an okay person, and after her parents separated he grew to be a lot more loving and supportive, which left her with lifelong complex and confusing feelings toward him despite their good relationship. There were some sections of the novel that felt like abuse apology, especially before I knew how it ended, and learning more about Hoover’s own life made them a little more understandable. But still.
TLDR: I get it, and I’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum, but it’s gonna be a no thanks from me, dog. I did that, I’ll listen to the discussion episode of The Stacks, and then I’ll happily move along to whatever book is next.
The other thing I read this week was Say What You Mean by Oren Jay Sofer, but unfortunately it was a digital loan from the library that was automatically turned in before I could finish. And before you say it, yes, I know about the airplane mode trick for Kindles. But did you know that Kobo has figured us out and started imbedding the countdown into the file itself, so it’ll expire even if your device’s wifi is turned off?! Technology is becoming too powerful!
Anyhow, Say What You Mean is all about how to communicate more effectively, efficiently, and compassionately, and I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read so far. Look for a more complete report after I get my hands on another copy.
A legally-required heads-up: if you purchase a book through the bookshop.org affiliate links above, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. ♥︎
Currently listening
This week I got deep into Darlingside’s most recent album, Everything is Alive (2023). I remember coming across this release when it was new, listening to the opening track, not being crazy about it, and immediately abandoning the whole endeavor—which in retrospect is completely bizarre and regrettable behavior.
While I do agree with my past self that the first song isn’t my (our?) favorite, I’m really glad I found my way back to the album and persisted through the entire thing this time. It’s indie folk with all the best elements:
Buttery tenor-range vocal harmonies, which is to say beardy dudes singing together tenderly and vulnerably
Compelling instrumentation featuring tasty cinematic strings, driving guitar, the occasional keyboard, and some friendly mandolin for texture
Slightly inscrutable, literary lyrics—it’s always a good sign when a band can toss the word “halcyon” into the mix like it’s not a big deal
A smooth, James Taylor-esque quality to the vocals in a few of the songs
Levels of emotion and wistfulness that are hard to pin down or describe
I’m quite fond of “Eliza I See,” “Darkening Hour,” and “The Breaking of the Day,” but #1 for me with a bullet is “How Long Again.” The first minute and a half is just voices, harmonizing, and it’s lush, and you can practically feel the sound vibrating in your chest. If you know me, you know that this is the entire reason I’m alive! When instruments do join in, it’s strings, warm and resonant, and piano, kind of echoey and old, the slightest bit out of tune. The whole song is less than two minutes long—damn it, the curse strikes again¹—but for some reason this video is 3:35, with silence and a black screen filling out the extra space. What I’m saying is, listening to this song is less of a time commitment than it seems. So just do it. DO IT.
But let me back up. I originally got to know Darlingside back in 2016, when I came across their second full-length album, Birds Say (2014) and immediately fell in love with it. I liked everything about the band: their sound, their vibe, the fact that the founding members met as (liberal arts) college students, their name being a reference to the old writing advice to “kill your darlings” (darlingcide, you see, like patricide, or homicide, but spelled with an ‘s’ so the pronunciation is more obvious).
One of the songs on that album, “The God of Loss,” is based on Arundhati Roy’s novel The God of Small Things, which I hadn’t read back then but since have, and it happens to be my favorite track. Well. I recently realized that there’s now a deluxe edition of Birds Say, which contains a PIANO VERSION of “The God of Loss” featuring none other than Fire Swimmer, who made that cover of “Cowboy Take Me Away” that I wouldn’t shut up about a few weeks ago! WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME?? It’s gorgeous! No one is crying!
So yes, found this new version of an old favorite song, thought to myself “I wonder what Darlingside’s been up to lately,” ended up at their most recent record, Everything is Alive, and now we’ve come full circle. For my next trick, I will work my way through the other albums of theirs that I’ve missed in the intervening years. Stay tuned.
¹ I ranted in my very first newsletter about how my favorite songs are often the shortest, forever leaving me desperate for more. Add this one to the list.
And another thing
The New York Times is rolling out a list of 100 best books of the 21st century and the first installment is out now. It’s interactive!
Things tend to get loud and overwhelming in the coffee shop where I work, so I’m considering trying these Calmer earplugs.
Here’s an eclectic list of new books you should read in July, from AV Club.
Emily St. John Mandel just announced that the first draft of her newest novel is finished. CANNOT wait.
Debris from a SpaceX capsule was found recently on a hiking trail in the North Carolina mountains. Whoa.
I know what I said about It Ends With Us earlier, but I’m also unconditionally in love with Jenny Slate, so I fear I’ll end up watching the film adaptation anyway, even if only out of curiosity. Here’s the trailer.
Tomorrow is McKay’s 50th anniversary road trip day! We picked up our minivan (Chrysler Pacifica, bay-beee) and we have our route mapped out. I’ll tell you all about it when we get back.
Haiku round-up
This week I’m thinking about old, familiar things seen from a new point of view, and how refreshing it can be to look again. Personally, I sometimes get so accustomed to my home, my habits, my surroundings, my ways of expressing myself, that those things become boring and unremarkable. But then someone outside of my day-to-day makes a comment or observation that snaps me out of it, and I’m reminded of how endlessly interesting and cool my life actually is, and I feel ridiculous for ever losing sight of that. My younger self, if she could see me now, would be so impressed and—dare I say it—proud. This video approaches the idea from more of a joking angle, but this is exactly what I’m talking about.
Monday, July 1
No matter their age, everyone likes to hear that what they’ve done is brave
Tuesday, July 2
“Don’t worry about her, she’s definitely alive”— just sore from laughing
Wednesday, July 3
Amputate the limb that has been rotting for years Let’s start fresh again
Thursday, July 4
Something about home, seen from a new perspective Gratitude returns
Friday, July 5
Mario Kart nights Someone ends up cursing, mad Oh, we love this game
Saturday, July 6
Walking together A collaborative cake We’re the neighborhood
Sunday, July 7
A favorite place, seven years strong and counting Our town is lucky
Until next time
It’s still so, so hot here in North Carolina, and all I want to do is find water, touch water, be near water. Ideally that would mean my body in the ocean or, more likely, a pool, but in a pinch I will settle for a walk down to the creek near my house. Even if it’s not clean enough to step into, my mind is soothed by its gentle movement and the play of light and shadow on its reflective surface. I hope you are staying cool wherever you are, friends, and maybe even getting to swim a bit this summer, if that’s something you’re into.
See you next time, and until then, please rise for our new national anthem.
If you want to tell me what you’re reading or listening to, or you have a hot take on anything I wrote about this week, I’d love to hear it!
And if you enjoyed this post, please consider passing it along to a friend. ♥︎