Monday Miscellany: Like gazing out a frosted-over window, remembering
Notes from December 30 - January 5
Well, friends, the holidays are over and another dusting of snow arrived here in North Carolina over the weekend, which means we’ve officially entered that part of winter that stretches on and on, seemingly without end.
On one hand, SNOW! At the first hint of flakes, my heart lifts and I am filled with childlike wonder and glee, eager despite my perpetually freezing appendages to sit outside and watch it fall, shivering yet delighted as it speckles my hair and skin.
And on the other, a deep, quiet sadness settles. I worry about what is on the way for our country with the impending change in leadership, and I feel preemptively exhausted, knowing that we’ve been here before. It’s hard not to fall into discouraged apathy.
But, but… a third hand? Yes, this metaphor is a mutant, it seems. There I find a stubborn hope; an excitement for new beginnings despite the circumstances; a desire to write lists and make goals and stay alive; a knowing that spring will come even if not for a few more months; a remembering that all is not lost, that friends fill my small corner of the world with warmth and deep joy, that cold doesn’t always mean death but can also awaken the imagination and bring tingling life to rosy noses and cheeks.
Currently reading
This spectrum of simultaneous, seemingly contradictory feelings is reflected quite well in the books I finished last week. And what a lineup to close out 2024 and launch into 2025! I was very happy with each of these reading experiences.
I asked my library to purchase The Only Way Through is Out by Suzette Mullen several months ago and had almost forgotten about it when I checked my account one day and saw it appear on my pending holds list. (What a dream to be the first one to check out a new library book, am I right?) Suzette Mullen is in her early fifties, comfortably married to a man, with two adult children and a settled, predictable life, when she starts to realize that she is a lesbian. This memoir is about her journey to know herself and to build a life that is more honest and fulfilling—it’s difficult for sure, replete with hard decisions and a lot of hurt, but the tone is ultimately hopeful. It’s impossible to read Suzette’s story without feeling like you’re right there with her, cheering with tears in your eyes as she takes baby step after baby step toward the expansive freedom that she so deeply needs and deserves.
We Could Be Rats by Emily Austin releases January 28th from Atria, and I’d been saving my advance copy for the right moment. As it turns out, the start of the new year was it. I’ve read and loved both of Austin’s previous novels, Everyone in this Room Will Someday Be Dead and Interesting Facts About Space, so I figured there was a decent chance I’d enjoy her newest as well. This one is about Sigrid, a twenty-something high school dropout with a big imagination, and her older sister Margit, with whom she is not especially close. The first part of the book is written as a series of suicide notes, quite a few of them, Sigrid attempting to more precisely dial in her tone and message each time she starts over. Through these we learn about her experiences as a child and young adult, of trying to express herself and find happiness despite repeatedly feeling misunderstood. Eventually the point of view changes and we hear from Margit, but Austin is doing some compelling work with structure that I don’t want to spoil, so I’ll leave it at that. This is definitely the darkest of her books so far, but it also has a real tenderness to it—her exploration of the love between sisters, even those who were never very close, and the capacity of this relationship to deepen and grow, is really moving.
What I really want to talk your ear off about, though, is my first nonfiction book of 2025, Atomic Habits by James Clear. This shit is SO solidly up my alley, and the timing could not have been more perfect—like many people’s, my compulsion to make goals and positive changes is sky-high at the start of the year, and Clear’s ideas slot right into that impulse. Basically, he’s breaking down the psychology of habits, both bad and good, and outlining ways we can use our brain’s tendencies to our advantage; the information isn’t necessarily ground-breaking, but the way he arranges it is logical and helpful and easy to understand. Having read Oliver Burkeman’s book Meditations for Mortals fairly recently, I had fun identifying pieces of Clear’s framework that play well with Burkeman’s; like “the most practical way to change who you are is to change what you do,” which reminded me of Burkeman’s advice to stop worrying about becoming the kind of person who does a particular thing and just do the thing. Clear refers to the process of trying to “become the kind of person” as “motion,” and targets me personally when he writes:
Motion makes you feel like you’re getting things done. But really, you’re just preparing to get something done. When preparation becomes a form of procrastination, you need to change something. You don’t want to merely be planning. You want to be practicing.
If you want to master a habit, the key is to start with repetition, not perfection. (143)
There are truly so many more quotes and thoughts I could share about Atomic Habits, but I don’t want to bore anyone, so just hear me when I say that it was the absolute right choice for the beginning of the year, a book that has sparked a lot of excitement for plans that I can’t wait to follow through on. If you like learning about how your brain works so you can game your own behavior to improve your life, and/or if you’re just looking for a nerdy and motivational little kick in the pants, read this (and then come talk to me about it)!
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Currently listening
This message is for my fellow elder millennials: hey, remember Thursday? As I’ve been writing today’s newsletter, I’ve been looping their new EP, Taking Inventory of a Frozen Lake (2025), and really digging it. The sound is grown-up emo pop punk nostalgia, which feels like cold weather, like gazing out a frosted-over window, remembering. (Is it possible for a sentence to be more enneagram 4 than that?)
But really, these lyrics, from “Taking Inventory of a Frozen Lake”:
What's in my heart? It's a long, long way into the past tense And all this time we watch go by, you're getting far away right beside me A missing page of our mistakes It’s getting cold
Or these, from “White Bikes”:
I'm waiting, I'm waiting for you to come along again
(Turn the radio up or how will I ever know?)
Why am I still waiting for you to come around again?
(The radio's on, how do you turn it down?)
The bittersweet vibes! The YEARNING! I foresee listening to these three songs many more times over the course of this winter, and I’m really hoping there’s more new music on the way from Thursday.
And another thing
We finished watching What We Do in the Shadows right before the new year and while I’m definitely going to miss those characters (especially Guillermo, my heart), I thought the ending, sad and silly and self-aware, was pretty perfect. Since then, we’ve gotten into Abbott Elementary—super late to the game on this one, but I’m liking it a lot so far. Think the mockumentary format of The Office, with Leslie Knope’s well-intentioned bureaucrat vibes from Parks & Recreation, in a contemporary school setting similar to English Teacher.
Part of my new year goal-setting includes my lettering business, and since one important aspect of that is digital creation, I’ve been shopping around for paper-like screen protectors for my tablet. So far my research has turned up Rock Paper Pencil and Paperlike, but if anyone knows of other options, especially if you have personal experience with them, please let me know!
Haiku round-up
Monday, December 30
Don’t be dissuaded; Stay the course and remember that all is coming
Tuesday, December 31
Home, safely ensconced in the space we’ve created, we send off this year
Wednesday, January 1
Giant ears flapping, eager paws flinging up dirt: puppy tornado
Thursday, January 2
A hated task is always easier when shared, time and effort halved
Friday, January 3
Hushed morning hours spent in quiet industry Pen on empty page
Saturday, January 4
To combat malaise, get thee out of the house and straight to the bookstore
Sunday, January 5
A strange sensation, this simultaneous mix of joy and despair
Until next time
One of the things giving me life over the past week has been the bounty of visits we’ve received from multiple neighbor kitties (like Whiskers, aka NeighborYam, pictured above). It always surprises and delights me to walk into the kitchen and see a friend sitting at the back door or lounging on the back deck in the sun. Another bright spot was getting to see some of my best human friends yesterday for the first time since before Christmas, including one member of our crew freshly back from her first cross-country trip as a long-haul trucker (I still can’t get over how cool this is—hi Emily)!
If it’s cold where you are, I hope you’re finding little glimmers of comfort and joy (a duo that is not, despite common misconception, confined to the Christmas holiday). #MakeComfortAndJoyHappen, or something.
See you next Monday, and until then, don’t forget to bundle up out there!!
—Emily
If you have any feedback, or want to tell me what you’re reading or listening to, I’d love to hear it. You’re always welcome to leave a comment or reply directly to this email.