Monday Miscellany: Prudes be warned
Notes from August 12 - 18
Yesterday I returned from a couple of days in the North Carolina mountains, and I have to say, I wish I were still there. Our cabin was right across the street from the French Broad river, down which we most certainly rafted, and also close to some great hiking trails.
We saw lots of animals over the weekend: butterflies, hawks, kingfishers, egrets, herons, crows, dogs, roosters, a family of wild turkeys, deer (a doe and two fawns), cows (standing in the river!!), and one of the biggest spiders I’ve ever seen in real life (this mf right here—fortunately it was already deceased). We stumbled upon some unexpected live bluegrass music and saw a gorgeous sunset at the taqueria where we had dinner Saturday night. We soaked in a hot tub. And of course, there was abundant reading time. On the whole, ideal.
Currently reading
Thanks to The Pairing by Casey McQuiston, I feel like I’ve taken a much longer and more glamorous journey than a simple mountain getaway. This is a book I’ve been eagerly anticipating since it was announced, a new queer romance from the author of Red, White & Royal Blue; One Last Stop; and I Kissed Shara Wheeler; all of which I’ve previously read and loved.
The Pairing takes place during a European food and wine tour that winds through France, Spain, and Italy, and it’s about two exes, Kit and Theo, who were supposed to go on said tour together four years ago. The problem is that they had a huge fight on the plane back then, and broke up before it even began. And now, unbeknownst to each other, they’re both cashing in the vouchers they received and taking their do-over tour at the same time. What could go wrong??
The love story is a slow burn, sweet and tender and very horny (I’ve heard that the working title of the book was Sluts in Europe, so do with that what you will). It is delightful to follow these two as they dig into their own individual issues, work through their past miscommunications, and figure out a way forward.
What really takes this reading experience to the next level, though, is the DETAIL. Casey McQuiston researched the hell out of this book, and it shows—from determining which wines would realistically be paired with which fancy French foods, to looking inside a specific Italian grotto via 3D virtual tour before setting a scene there, to spending time in many of the places they would describe in the book so they could include little pieces of their own experience. It all truly feels like you’re there.
I was lucky enough to attend one of Casey’s publicity tour events (check the right side of the above photo for half of my face peeping over the person in front of me!), and this immersive mindset was on full display there as well; each city they visited had a specific location-based theme (ours was Parisian Patisserie), and they went all out in their outfit choice and encouraged attendees to do the same. At our stop, Casey spoke with fellow romance writer Ashley Poston, and the conversation was rambling, spirited, and full of joy. My favorite topic was the Contextual Sandwich, a term that one of the characters in the book uses for a food experience that is extra wonderful and memorable because of the context surrounding it.
Anyway, TLDR: if you want to spend a few weeks meandering through Europe and enjoying all of the incredible local food, drink, and entertainment (wink) without leaving your couch, this is your book. And just to reiterate, it’s spicy—prudes be warned!
Over the weekend, much of my mountain cabin reading time was spent zipping through McSweeney’s Quarterly Concern #70. As much as I enjoyed some of the manifestos in the last McSweeney’s I read, it was a relief to return to a non-themed, more traditional literary collection.
One of my favorite stories was “Serranos” by Francisco González, about the residents of a trailer park called Ranch View Mobile Estates and some new people, the Serranos, who move in and mix things up in the community.
There is also a collection of photos, “Please Forgive Me Pele” by Ryan Thompson, that features containers of sand and volcanic rock that visitors have taken from Hawaii and then later sent back, claiming in their accompanying letters that they’ve experienced bad luck over the intervening months or years, and apologizing to the goddess Pele.
Here’s the single quote I wrote down from this issue, an unexpected gut punch from “Conspirators’ Notes” by Edward Gauvin:
In my thirties, I realized a large part of my life had been devoted to engineering, then eschewing, environments where I could be thought of as intelligent, which was the only way I could imagine being loved. I wanted people who loved me to admire me, and I thought people who admired me loved me. (153)
EDWARD, JEEZ.
A legally-required heads-up: if you purchase a book through the bookshop.org affiliate links in this post, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you. ♥︎
Currently listening
[ Content warning: discussion of depression ]
A lot of my earbud and car stereo time this past week was devoted to podcasts—I am now fully caught up in all of the shows I subscribe to! Who is she??
But I did intentionally put music on as I was drawing a bath one night recently, and the song I chose was “A Better Son/Daughter” by Rilo Kiley. To be clear, The Execution of All Things is excellent in its entirety, but there’s something about this particular track that brings me back to it again and again, something that makes it perfect for belting along to in one’s echoey bathroom as one runs the hot water and pours the bubbles, you know, hypothetically, if that is something that one is into.
The song starts quietly and slowly, with simple organ chords in the background and a slightly crackling quality like you’re listening on an old radio. It’s in three-four time, with a distant snare drum marking the beat, and as the percussion gets stronger, Jenny Lewis’s voice gets clearer—she’s singing about a phone call with a parent that ends in argument. The instruments back off and she sounds a little more subdued as she describes crawling back into bed “to dream of a time when your heart was open wide and you loved things just because, like the sick and the dying.”
And then all hell breaks loose.
I want to just write out all of the lyrics because they’re all THAT good, but instead I’ll invite you to imagine how incredibly cathartic it feels to shout
And sometimes when you’re on, you’re really fucking ON, and your friends, they sing along and they love you But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap and it teases you for weeks in its absence
Maybe this is why I’m so in love with this song: it perfectly, I mean perfectly encapsulates my life-long experience of depression. How many times have I, from the disorienting center of a low period, tried to channel being ON, to recall the singing along, the loving, only to conclude that it was all a mirage and that this horrible nightmare of flat, unmotivated, joyless malaise is the truth?
I feel these words in my bones.
The last half of the song doesn’t let up in intensity, but with the dogged persistence of the grieving and the emotionally unwell, slightly cynical but determined to break through the fog of sadness into a clearer day, Jenny sings that “you’ll fight and you’ll make it through, you’ll fake it if you have to, and you’ll show up for work with a smile” before continuing to list everything the new and better you will do and be.
You’ll be a real good listener, you’ll be honest, you’ll be brave, you’ll be handsome and you’ll be beautiful You’ll be happy
You might be down, but you’re not out. Things can change. They always do. They have to. And finally:
You’re weak but not giving in And you’ll fight it, you’ll go out fighting all of ‘em
I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say that “A Better Son/Daughter” is an anthem. “Battle Hymn of the Republic” for a republic that’s mentally ill, self-doubting, and lost. It’s so very dear to me. If you’ve never heard it before (or if you have!) I hope you’ll take a couple of minutes today to listen—and if you happen to find yourself in a low place right now, know that I see you and I’m sending strength and peace your way. ♥︎
And another thing
A couple of new additions to my list of recipes to try: these oatmeal chocolate chip cookies from Bon Appétit and these pesto beans from the NY Times.
Book Riot rounded up twelve of the funniest science fiction and fantasy books—The Ministry of Time, which I talked about last week, is on the list! I love an element of humor in my SF/F reading, so I’m looking forward to checking out some of the others.
Bookmarks, our local nonprofit independent bookstore, just announced the full lineup for their upcoming Festival of Books & Authors, which is always a highlight of my September!
Haiku round-up
Monday, August 12
The air is too cool, porch breeze too inviting, to spend today indoors
Tuesday, August 13
Two neighbors stroll by, their dog and cat, both leashed, pause to sniff everything
Wednesday, August 14
Crisp vegetables, simple homemade dressing, and chunks of pan-fried bread
Thursday, August 15
Another new lens, an altered perspective that reveals all anew
Friday, August 16
What a privilege to put daily life on pause, to pack up and go
Saturday, August 17
Just down the river— Black cows, clumped together, still, water to their flanks
Sunday, August 18
Steady rain patter and gentle, distant thunder welcoming us home
Until next time
Upon our return from the mountains, I found out that the weather this week is predicted to be cooler, a “false fall,” and I couldn’t be happier. It’s like the higher elevation followed us back! In the past I’ve made a giant list of everything I want to read, watch, and do during the months of September, October, and November, and I’m excited to reprise that this year—maybe the lower temperatures will inspire me to get started. There are aspects of every season that I love, but if I had to pick a favorite, it would be autumn. How about you?
See you next time, and until then, we’re gonna fuckin’ be okay.
—Emily
If you have any feedback, or want to tell me what you’re reading or listening to, I’d love to hear it. You’re always welcome to leave a comment or reply directly to this email.
♥️♥️♥️